I'm really into asian looking animals
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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