So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
