God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
