there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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