I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Holy shit dude........stairs
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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