i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
