So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
