i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
