Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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