She announced her abortion via fbk
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
