Sponge bath it is.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
