No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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