I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
