in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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