she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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