so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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