I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
