I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
