he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
