There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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