try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize