super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i was born a porn star she said
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
