You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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