So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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