The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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