HIV tests are more positive than that guy
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
