yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
