You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
