New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
