I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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