Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
