Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If I die, sorry about rent.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
