This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
