Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
