Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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