party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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