everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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