You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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