I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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