Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
