just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
