Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
