I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
