he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
