Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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