this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The uberlube is also flammable
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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