He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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