just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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