We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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