Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize