I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
