i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
