so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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