Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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