He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
